Compete and Live at Your Best
Expectations and pressure are a part of life, especially in sports. How you handle them can significantly impact your performance and well-being. To perform at your best, you need to manage these factors effectively, starting with understanding where they come from and what you can control.
External Expectations and Pressure
External expectations come from the outside world—what others think or say about you. A common pitfall for athletes is worrying about how others will perceive them based on whether they win or lose.
As humans, we’re wired to care about others’ opinions. This tendency helps keep us connected to our community or “tribe.” However, this instinct can become a burden when it prevents us from performing at our best. The truth is, external expectations are entirely out of our control. No matter how much success you achieve, you can’t dictate what others will think of you.
So, simply don’t waste your energy worrying about it. Focus instead on the things you can control, like your effort, attitude, and preparation.
Internal Expectations and Pressure
Internal expectations are the pressures we place on ourselves. Unlike external pressures, these are fully within our control and can either fuel or hinder us, depending on how we respond to them.
Often, these expectations align with our personal goals—like winning a match or performing well at a tournament. While these can be motivating, they can also lead to frustration if they become the sole measure of success. For example, you may win a match but feel unsatisfied if you didn’t give your best effort.
Reframing Expectations: Focus on Higher-Order Values
Managing pressure and expectations starts with setting better values for yourself. If you focus on external validation, such as others’ opinions, you’re basing your self-worth on something outside of your control. Similarly, internal values tied solely to outcomes—like winning a tournament or beating a specific opponent—can leave you feeling empty, even in victory.
To compete and live at your best, it’s helpful to adopt higher-order values. These values shift your focus to what truly matters and help you perform without unnecessary mental baggage.
Four values that have helped me perform and live at my best:
Effort Over Outcome
Focus on giving your best effort rather than fixating on winning or losing. Success isn’t just about the result; it’s also about how much you put into the process. When you give something your full effort, you’ll continuously grow and learn, regardless of the outcome. Effort is something you can control, and it’s a better value for long-term success.
Giving Value to Others
Instead of worrying about what others think of you, focus on how you can positively impact those around you. Whether it’s inspiring teammates, mentoring younger athletes, or being a respectful competitor, giving value creates deeper connections with the world around you. By helping others and being kind, you’ll free yourself from self-doubt and grow as a person.
Enjoy the Process
Don’t just focus on the goal—learn to love the work it takes to get there. The daily grind, the progress you make, and the lessons you learn along the way are what matter most. When you embrace the journey, you’ll find more joy and fulfillment in everything you do.
Nerves Are Your Friend
Feeling nervous means you care—it’s a sign you’re ready for something important. Instead of fighting your nerves, use them to fuel your focus and energy. Courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about stepping up even when you’re nervous. Let your nerves work for you—they’re a tool, not an obstacle.
Final Thoughts
Pressure and expectations are inevitable, but they don’t have to weigh you down. By focusing on what you can control, reframing your values, and committing to the process, you can live and compete at your best.
Whether you’re on the mat or navigating life, it’s not about proving yourself to others; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. Control what you can, let go of what you can’t, and enjoy the ride.
- Zain
